This Buffalo Life Blog


The Best Way to Support Yourself

personal development

Today you are going to learn the best way to support yourself.


You need to know that you are supported, that you’re not alone.


There will be many times you feel alone as a mom. Even if you have the luxury of having family close by that does support you, there will be times when you think they just don’t get it.


You’ll think they have no idea what you’re going through.


Even if it’s true that they don’t know what you’re going through, THINKING that thought is going to have you feeling terrible and feeling like you’re alone.


It’s a thought that doesn’t serve you.

It’s a thought that keeps you stuck, that makes you want to stay home and be alone and not answer the phone when it does ring.

It’s a thought that will have you making up excuses when you do get invited somewhere.


It creates fevers in the kids or in yourself.

It creates chaos at home.

It pulls apart your relationship with your husband and you start thinking that HE doesn’t get it either.

(I know because I've been there.)


So, even if the thought is true, it doesn’t serve you to focus on it.

Instead, you just notice it, and let it float by.

Instead, remind yourself how you are supported.

Instead, let the thought become NOT true.


I have found that the best way to support yourself is to surround yourself with people who want what you want.


You’re probably wondering how you’re supposed to do that when the people in your life don’t get it.


So I’m going to tell you.


It’s probably not what you think.


First things first, you have to know what you want so you know who to spend time with.


Not knowing this is like deciding to go on vacation but not choosing a destination. If you just start driving around looking for a vacation, it’s going to take a while.

You might miss it.

You might not see what’s possible.


But when you decide on purpose the type of vacation you want to have, you know where to start looking.

You know if it’s going to be in the mountains or at the beach or shopping or whatever.


You can see how this is so important.

As soon as you know what you want, you can find other people who also want what you want.


And (this is what you might not realize), it’s okay if these people aren’t actually in your real life.


They can be authors.

They can be podcasters.

They can be people you look up to.


The important thing is to notice they are just like you, and they have what you want.


For example, if you’re a mom and you like to sew and you want to figure out how to profit from it, it would probably serve you well to learn about someone like Susan from Freshly Picked.


It doesn’t mean you have to go as far as she’s gone or make as much as she’s making, but the possibility is there.

She started her business as a mom with a kid at home.

If she can do it, so can you.


You can join a group or even a paid program to surround yourself with people who are creating the same thing you are.


You can hire a life coach to help you think how you need to think in order to create what you want to create.


Think about the 5 people you spend the most time with right now.


For many of you, those 5 people are under the age of 18.


Is it any wonder that you start thinking like them?


I’m serious.


This is something that actually happens.


That’s why the statement is so true that you are who you spend the most time with.


There’s even been studies done to see what actually happens in the brain. I read about one where they had people look at some lines on a screen and point out the longest one. They intentionally had some people point to a wrong line, and when that happened, other people started believing that was the right line. So they started pointing to the wrong line thinking it was the longest one!


They weren’t pointing to the wrong line just because someone else said that was right. Part of their brain literally stopped working. When they looked at the lines, their brain actually gave them different information.


This is why who you hang out with matters.


They are programming your brain whether you like it or not.


The good news is, you still get to choose who to be around, and you don’t have to read all day, fill your head with positive affirmations, or listen to podcasts nonstop.


You just have to know that this is a thing. That it is real.


And then you make your decision about what you want and who you want to learn from to get there.


Here’s your homework:

  1. Know what you want. Like what do you really, really want? Not what would you settle for or what you should be thankful for, but what do you really, really want that would make you feel like your life is amazing.

  2. Find who is like you that has already created this. What skills did they have to learn? Why is it possible for you to create this too? Limit who you learn from to 3-5 people.

  3. Dedicate at least one hour every week to learn something new on this topic.

  4. Spend intentional time DAILY practicing being the person getting what she wants.

  5. Support yourself. Give yourself the support you need. Use your voice recorder, use sticky notes, whatever it takes to keep your mind set on where you’re going.


If you are a stay at home mom and most of the people you hang out with are your kids, you’re going to have to work at redirecting your brain.


When you make time to learn or listen to a podcast, take notes. Post them around your house. Write a script you want your life to be about and read it daily to remind you of where you’re going.


This is what I did. I actually did this exact thing in my life.

I was so tired of feeling apathetic everyday and not liking anything.

So I wrote out what my dream day would be like.

I chose a life that I found fulfilling.

And every day I looked for evidence as to why it was working. Why I was getting closer. How much of it I already had.

I listened to people who went before me. I got curious about what they might have been thinking.

I created babysteps for myself to follow so I could take the smallest bit of action.


I was so busy BECOMING, that one day I realized, my life is actually amazing. It was like opening my eyes for the first time and liking what I saw.


THIS is why I became a life coach.


I know how terrible it feels to not enjoy being a mom and how different life is when you DO enjoy it.


And when you surround yourself with people who want what you want and you give yourself the support you need to get there, it doesn’t feel like such a struggle.


If you want help with this, I’m here for you.

I’ll help you get clear on what it is you want and what it would look like for you to create it.

Once you know the steps, you can decide if you want to create that with my help or on your own.

To get clarity and direction for your life, click here and schedule your complimentary call.



3 Truths Every Mom Needs

If you're tired of cleaning all day, these truths will help you relax while still being productive.

Get Free Time For You

Download your free guide to save time and feel better at home.