Your Relationship with Yourself

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This month we are diving into relationships and the first relationship we are going to work on is your relationship with yourself. This is going to be your most important relationship.

I want you to believe that you can love yourself as much as you love your kids. Did you know that you actually only have the capacity to give the same amount of love to others as you give to yourself? Brené Brown talks about this and it’s so interesting because so often we think we love our kids or our spouse way more than we love ourselves.

When you think about how much you love your kids, does it seem possible that you can love yourself that much? I know for me, this was a hard concept to wrap my head around. I thought there was no way I could love myself that much.

But then I was like, why ever not?! Why would I choose to not love myself? Why would I decide to hold back from loving myself? Love solves so many problems. And the best place to start is with loving yourself.

So the first thing I want you to do is to spend some time thinking about what you think about yourself. That might sound confusing at first, but I want you to think about yourself in a way that is sort of removed. 

If you just met you, what would you think about you? If you had to sit next to you on a six hour flight, what would your opinion of you be? Do you like you? Why or why not?

If you’re having negative thoughts, let that be okay. Don’t try to pretend like they aren’t there. Be super honest because that is the only way you will ever improve your relationship with yourself, and that is the whole point.

So you want to uncover what it is that you think about yourself, but don’t judge yourself for what you think.

I’m going to talk a little bit about judgement here because you’re going to judge yourself anyway. I know because you are human. I do the same thing.

You are going to want to justify your judgements. You’re going to want to say, ‘well, if I had more money…’ or ‘if I had that job…’ or ‘if I didn’t have the kids…’ 

What you’re doing is you’re blaming things outside of you for the way you are. You are giving your power away.

So let’s play for a minute.

Let’s go to the place where all your dreams come true.

Your business is thriving. You live in your dream house. Your kids are perfect. You have amazing dates every week with your hubby.

Whatever dreams you have, I want you to think about what your life would be like if they were true.

I want you to think about how you would show up.

I want you to think about what your opinion of your future self would be if all those things were true.

What thoughts are going through your head about this future you?

What are you feeling?

Really take some time to feel this.

Now I’m going to offer you something here.

Everything you are feeling right now about this future you is 100% available for you to think and feel about who you are today.

You can feel this way about you even though you haven’t accomplished all your dreams.

The reason you can feel this is because you have experienced these emotions at some point in your life and you know how they feel.

If you haven’t experienced them, you wouldn’t know what they feel like.

So if you have experienced them, that means you have already been there.

That means what you want is inside of you already, it’s been there all along.

You don’t have to try to be a better person.

Your life isn’t going to get better.

It’s already as good as it can be.

This is because your life is your self worth. Self worth isn’t something you can get more of. It’s not something you can get less of.

You are either alive, or you’re not.

It has nothing to do with you because you didn’t create you.

You’re amazing not because you accomplish great things, but you are amazing because you didn’t create you.

You can’t take credit for being you.

This is why nobody can be better than anyone else. 

Self worth is such a big part of your relationship with yourself.

You have to be willing to have a high opinion of yourself and you have to know that your amazingness isn’t because of you. You’re amazing because you can’t take credit for you and everyone else is amazing because they can’t take credit for themselves either.

I want you to spend some time living in this.

We talked about how you have your opinion of you and how maybe it’s not as good as you think it could be because when you think about your opinion of yourself when you do everything you want to do, it changes.

Go to that future you. What is she thinking? What is she feeling? How is she showing up in this world?

Step into her.

This is how you improve your relationship with yourself.

You have to commit to thinking awesome thoughts about yourself.

One of the best things my master coach has taught me is that I am amazing and I can’t take credit for it. God created me and He get’s that credit, but I can take responsibility for recognizing it.

Alright.

Now go be your amazing self.


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