Why You Feel Apathetic as a Mom
Lately I have been struggling with apathy. It's an ongoing battle and I love the days I win. If I give into apathy, I sit around moping all day, or maybe reading a book and alternately yelling at the kids. I feel like crap and really don't care. Isn't that stupid? Out of all the emotions available to me, when I'm stuck in apathy I don't even care for joy.
But the thing is, when I'm stuck in apapthy I have this other part of me screaming her head off inside, trying to get me to get up and do something. Anything. Because she knows what happens when you're apathetic. After a time it morphs into depression. And she is not going back on medication. Ever.
It goes a bit like this.
I'm sitting there, reading my book because I don't feel like doing the million things I need to do. This voice inside my head is yelling at me and I think if I keep reading I can drown her out. Then the kids start arguing and I start yelling at them and they look at me like I'm crazy. I know I totally did something uneccessary but I'm apathetic so I pretend to not care. I go back to my book and try to block it all out.
I put my book away to cook a late dinner because the kids need to eat something before bed. I feel like crap and I know it's because I've been crabby and reading all day. But what's the point? I feel like I can't do anyhing my way. I can't keep the house clean. I can't keep up on laundry any more. I need a break. Everything feels pointless.
Maybe you can relate to this. Maybe you have your own version of this. Apathy is a problem that is so hard to overcome. But it is crucial! So today I have a post that will shed some insite onto apathy and how to overcome it.
What is apathy
- lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern
- the edge of depression
- not fulfilling your roles
This definition of apathy is so acurate. Lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern. The feeling behind what's the point? Pay attention to your feelings and be aware when you feel apathy.
For me, apathy leads to depression. Depression is not a road I want to go down. I fell into depression not long after I was married and I spent years on medicine. I was devoid of all emotion. I couldn't even feel apathetic. I was never really down, but then I was never really happy either. I just existed. That is no way to live. And honestly, I don't have memories from those years. Only those who have been depressed can really relate to this. I hope this isn't you.
One of the main effects of apathy is that you stop fulfilling your roles. You stop showing up as a mom. You stop caring about having a clean house because it feels pointless. You stop cooking decent meals. You stop taking care of yourself. Your roles and responsibilities are there to keep you going, not to make you feel overwhelmed. As we get closer to the end of this post I will share how to overcome apathy.
Why you feel apathetic
- your thoughts
- your thoughts
- your thoughts
I want to be really clear here. Apathy is a feeling. Our feelings are created from our thoughts. Our thoughts are why we feel apathetic. This is so important to understand. It's not because the house is a mess. It's not because the kids were fighting. It's not because you read all day. Circumstances are neutral.
Remember, this is what Brooke Castillo teaches. It is your thought about the circumstance that makes you feel apathetic. So maybe you're thinking you just need to switch to better thoughts. Yes and no.
If you can honestly believe your new thought, then go for it. Most of us can't go from 'the house is messy and it feels pointless to clean' to 'the house is messy and I can still be happy'. We have to gradually get there.
First, we have to understand why we think it's a problem anyway. Really understand what about the messy house is bothering you. Is it the house or is it that the kids aren't listening and helping out? Maybe it's because you aren't fulfilling your roles and you want to blame someone else. So go further. Why aren't you fulfilling your roles? Maybe you need a break. Have you given yourself one? Go deep and get to the heart of the problem.
How to overcome apathy
- thought downloads
- think on purpose
- self care, service, and creativity
When you go deep to get to the heart of the problem, it's best to do this on paper. This is what Brook calls a thought download. Get all your thoughts out so you can examine them.
Then ask youself how you want to feel about the situation. This is thinking on purpose. You have to choose your thoughts, but choose carefully. You have to believe them if you really want to feel better.
Then you start acting as if. If you were super happy, what would you be doing? For starters, you would probably be showered and dressed, wearing somehting you feel amazing in. You would probably help the kids when they needed it, have lunch ready on time, and clean up the house as needed, without complaining. You would probably do something fun because you are happy, remember?
It is so important to take care of yourself. Even when you don't feel like it. And just smile more. You cannot be angry with a smile on your face. Let happiness come to you, open the door.
You have the power to kick apathy out.
Do your thought downloads.
Choose your thoughts.
Take care of yourself.
Fulfill your roles.
Make time to be creative.
I've created a list of 10 Affirmations to help you feel better. It's in the Resource Library. Not a member? Join for FREE below.