Taking Turns Organizing Dates
My husband and I have been dating every week for the past year and half. Yesterday (as I write this) we celebrated our 12 year anniversary. I wish I could say that we have been dating weekly for the past 12+ years, but that never happened. What makes a couple stop dating?
Oh, we're married now, and we get to see each other every single day, so lets stop treating our relationship like it's the best thing ever.
We should be like, We're married now, and we are going to keep our relationship the best that it can be by taking care of it by dating every week because we are going to be together f o r e v e r.
We are going to set an example of love to our children.
If you want to be a great family, you have to be a great couple. I'm not the first person to say that.
Be a great couple.
Show up with love.
Make an effort to date every week.
Now, have we missed a week here and there?
Yes, of course.
Sometimes on purpose.
But, if we skip it, we always talk about it. We be okay with it.
And we make sure we get back to it.
The cool thing is that it's so routine.
Every Saturday morning we go out for coffee.
Yes, a coffee date. That's all you need.
We sit together and we talk about our weeks.
We talk about our dreams.
In the beginning all we talked about was our kids.
Let that be okay. You just have to start.
Here's what happened for me.
Every week, coffee date. I love it, but I have this feeling like I want to do something else.
It's a nagging feeling that comes up now and again.
Our weekly date starts to feel boring.
Here's what we decided to do.
Every other month (or quarter, or however often you decide), we are going to take turns organizing dates.
When it's my turn, I get to plan it out and choose something that really sounds fun to me.
When it's Sky's turn, he gets to plan it out and we'll do something that sounds fun to him.
That way, both of us will get to do fun things, and we will learn more about each other. Yeah, I know, we've been married for 12 years. But this next 12 is going to be more adventurous.
We are going to have so much fun.
You have to switch things up.
You have to keep your relationship alive.
But, wait a minute, you say. He would never organize a fun date.
Well, if you have those kinds of thoughts, you're right. He won't.
But, what if he did?
What kinds of dates do you think he would bring you on?
Be open to the possibilities.
And make your dates so much fun that he is going to want to do one of his own.
And if he still doesn't want to organize any dates, let that be okay, too.
He is there for you to love.
You can love him, no matter what.
Maybe just start taking turns with your anniversary and valentines day.
If you have something fun to look forward to, it will make you want to keep dating.
Especially if it's something that fuels your soul.
But first, you have to make your weekly dates a priority.
Your relationship is the most important part of your family.
Take care of it.
Take turns organizing your dates so you keep dating and keep having fun.