This month we are working on self-confidence. What does it mean to be self-confident? If you are self-confident, you feel good about the things you can do. It’s a secure feeling. When you feel secure in yourself, you are trusting yourself. Today we’re going to talk about what that looks like and how you can trust yourself more.
One of the biggest ways to start trusting yourself is to start doing what you say you will do. This means creating a plan for yourself and then following your plan. This means taking care of yourself. This means showing up and doing the responsible thing, even if you don’t feel like it.
When you start practicing this, watch out for hope. Notice what hope feels like. When you say you’re going to do something, and you hope you do it, it feels VERY different from saying you’re going to do something and feeling confident you will get it done.
When you feel hopeful, you are not trusting yourself. You are leaving room for self-doubt. You feel insecure and at the effect of your life, like your life is out of your control.
What we want is for you to get to that place of really trusting yourself. Of you having a plan and knowing without a doubt that what’s on your plan is what you will be doing. We want you to take responsibility for your life.
Think about your life like a car. Even if the car is old, as long as the engine works, it’s going to get you where you want to go. You are the car and the engine is your brain. You have everything you need to get you where you want to be. So get in the drivers seat and get comfortable, no matter what your car looks like. Trust the process.
Trusting yourself is simple. That does not mean it’s easy.
The first thing you’re going to do is start following through on your word to yourself. We just talked about this, but I want to add how important it is to only plan what you can do with the time you have.
You want to start doing what you say you will so you have to stop doing what you can’t get done. If you’re not actually going to go to the gym, stop telling yourself you’re going to go. If you can’t actually get all the laundry done in one day, stop telling yourself you have to do it all.
The first step is to always follow through on your word to yourself, the second step is to recognize that this isn’t something you were born with. Your brain is always going to be looking for what you did’t do. You want to get into the habit of telling it what you did do. What went right.
You’re not born trusting yourself. You have to earn it. You have to work at it. You have to build your own trust in yourself and you do that by keeping your word to yourself.
And then the third part of trusting yourself is that you have to keep going. You have to keep doing what you say you will do and you have to do it at your highest level.
This means that if you slip and you don’t do everything you say you will, you find out why. You figure out what excuses you are telling yourself and you overcome them. This means you stop the negative self-talk.
If you want to trust yourself, you have to love yourself. You have to treat yourself with respect and you have to discipline yourself.
Think about a child. You wouldn’t let your kid eat ice cream for dinner every night, so why would you let yourself do that? You wouldn’t let your kid not do homework if they didn’t feel like it. No. You discipline them.
You teach them what is right based on your values. You have to do the same for yourself.
Build your own trust
You can build your own trust in yourself and be more self-confident.
Start doing what you say you will.
Remember it’s a skill to keep your word.
Keep doing it responsibly.
You totally got this, but if you want more help, I can totally help you. You can always schedule a consult call to get specific tips for where you are in your life. I would love to talk to you!