How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

stopoverwhelm.jpg

I’m sitting down to write these next blog posts, and I’m thinking about where you are in your growth. I’m wondering what you need to hear to keep going. Sometimes it feels good to grow, and sometimes it feels really hard and we need extra inspiration to keep going. Whatever stage you are in, let it be okay.

Last month we talked about creativity and how important it is to spend time being creative. On Instagram I did a series of videos teaching about time and how it’s a mental construct.

This month, I want to take you from overwhelmed to organized in a way that relates to your time. It’s one thing to know all these concepts about time, but if you aren’t following the schedule you set for yourself, it’s not going to do you much good.

When I ask my clients what their top three feelings are, overwhelmed is always one of them. There’s the house and the food and the laundry and the kids. There’s the husband and your own self care. Your physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual wellbeing.

There’s wanting to be a good mom that’s battling with the desire to spend all your time growing your business. 

Much of the time it feels like there is just too much to do and you either feel like you aren’t capable of doing it all, so you do nothing but work on your business because that is what makes you feel good. Or, you try to balance it all and it feels too hard and nothing is getting done because you haven’t figured out how to make enough progress in each area without neglecting some.

So you feel overwhelmed.

I get it. Today I want to help you stop feeling overwhelmed because it is an indulgent emotion that has no up side.

Lets take a look at this.

Let’s say you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s Monday morning and you know you should be doing your cleaning and the laundry, bu the house is quiet because the kids are at school and you think you should take advantage of the quiet house and make some progress on your business. So you work on your business and the day flies by and before you know it, the kids are walking in the door.

They all have a million things to tell you about their day and you can’t even focus on what they’re saying because you’re trying to figure out where the day went and how you could work on your business all day and not make any progress.

Plus, everyone is hungry and you know you should start dinner, but you have no idea what to cook and then you remember you didn’t start laundry yet. You’re trying to check backpacks and figure out who has homework and what’s for dinner and start the laundry and listen to the kids and all you want to do is go to bed.

It’s chaos all around you and you feel like giving up. It shouldn’t be this hard. You start questioning why you have a business in the first place. It’s supposed to help your family, not take from it. You feel so overwhelmed, you’re not sure you can keep up.

OKAY. Can you relate? What I want to suggest here is that overwhelm is a choice, and right now you get to decide if you want to indulge in the overwhelm or choose a new feeling. 

If you indulge in it, a few things might happen. You could react to the overwhelm. You could resist the overwhelm. You could respond to the overwhelm (indulge). Or, you could feel it.

resist

I want you to think about what it’s like when you hold a beach ball underwater. This is what it’s like when you resist emotion. It’s there, under the surface, and the littlest thing will set you off.

Maybe the kids start fighting or teasing or complaining about their homework.

Instantly you feel angry.

You think you feel angry because the kids are fighting, but the reason you feel angry is because you are resisting your overwhelm and you’re thinking something along the lines of ‘this is too hard’ or ‘I can’t do this’ or whatever your version is.

Pay attention to your life and what happens when you resist feeling overwhelm.

react

If you react to the overwhelm, you might start yelling at your kids. Think about this for yourself. When you are feeling overwhelmed, how do you show up? What do you do?

I yell at my kids. I try to get them to be quiet. I find ways to blame them for how messy the house is. 

When I do that, I basically create more fighting and more ways to be overwhelmed. What do you end up creating when you react to your overwhelm?

respond

When you respond to the overwhelm, that is when you are indulging in it. This might look  like not cooking dinner at all. Maybe you’re going to just pack the kids in the car and have fast food for dinner. You will justify it in the moment, but after it happens, you will second guess your decision and wish you stayed home, saved the money.

Maybe you decide you can do the laundry tomorrow when in the back of your head you already know it’s not going to be done tomorrow either. Maybe tomorrow you decide to go shopping and you don’t get anything done and you fall even further behind.

Maybe you decide you need a good book so you head to the library and stock up on novels and spend your days reading tell yourself you’re not fit to be an entrepreneur.

This is indulging in the overwhelm. Take a look at your life and see how it shows up for you when you indulge in it.

allow

When you resist, react, and indulge in overwhelm, you are not allowing the emotion. The only way to get past an emotion is to feel it. But remember how I said overwhelm was a choice? 

Whatever you’re thinking is going to create your feeling. You can literally decide to not allow overwhelm, but you have to know how it is showing up for you before you can change it. 

Identify what your thought is that is making you feel overwhelmed. ‘There’s just too much to do.’ is a common one I hear.

Start having that awareness of how you show up when you resist it, react to it, and indulge in it.

What are you actually doing, and what is that creating for you?

And then the next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, you can say, ‘Oh yeah. This is that overwhelm.’ Instead of resisting and reacting and indulging, you can now tell it to go because you’re not going to do those things, or you can allow it.

Allowing it looks like telling yourself you are feeling overwhelmed and that’s okay. You just take the feeling with you and you don’t try to change it.

It’s like pulling a heavy suitcase around with you. It doesn’t stop you. You still do all the things. 

What you will notice is that when you allow the feeling to be there without trying to change it, it will eventually change itself. You processed it, and it goes away.

This is how you stop feeling overwhelmed.

Let it be there. Do not resist, react, or indulge in it. Just allow it and keep doing your thing. It will go away, I promise you.

Okay leave a comment below telling me why you feel overwhelmed.