Showing Up For You
This month at This Buffalo Life we are talking about self care. I decided to do this separate from self-confidence because for me, self care is more of the physical, the action we take, whereas self-confidence is more mental-emotional mind work.
How you see yourself matters and after you have been working on your self-confidence for a month, you might find some things about your life that you don’t really like.
Remember that everything is a choice, and if you don’t like the way something is, you can change it. Today I want you to think about what you think about yourself and how you show up for yourself.
This is all about representing you.
When you think about someone you admire, someone you look up to, pay attention to the things they do for themselves and figure out what it is that you can be doing for you.
Today I’m going to tell you about 6 areas of your life that I think are worth paying attention to. These 6 areas will help you keep that self-confidence we have been working on so you can show up for the life you want to have.
You guys have heard that you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have. I think the same philosophy applies to your life.
1 | clothing
Okay. The first thing I want to address is your clothing. We are just going to cover this lightly because we’re going to dive deep into your personal style in a couple weeks.
You need to pay attention to the clothes you wear. You might not think this is important, but think about this. When you wear yoga pants and a sweat shirt, how do you show up? How do you act?
Now think about how you show up when you wear your favorite outfit. How do you act when you wear something you love?
Don’t tell me you love yoga pants. I can hear you telling me that. It’s so nice to dress like one degree nicer than you would normally. It feels so good. Like I’m the boss.
When it comes to clothing, there’s a few things I want you to think about. The first one is to constrain your style, which is what we are going to talk about in a couple weeks. But the idea is to identify a couple words that describe your style.
If you can’t find the words, think about your style silhouette. For me, it’s loose tops and fitted bottoms. I also always only wear black. It suits me. I love it.
When you do these things, don’t do them because you think it’s a neat idea. Do it because it is your style.
You want to make sure that the clothes you wear fit you. When you go shopping and you find something you love, buy the one that fits. Don’t worry about what size it is. If you’re shopping different brands you might be different sizes in each brand. Get the one that fits.
And make sure you are comfortable. Before I knew my style I used to hate Sunday’s and I couldn’t wait to get home from church so I could change. Now I love my outfits and I feel comfortable in them all day long. I don’t feel like I need to change.
Okay so with your clothes you want them to fit you so nicely and you want to be comfortable and wearing clothes that reflect your style.
2 | purse + wallet
It pays (literally) to have a nice purse and a nice wallet. You need to do this for yourself. Go out and buy something you really love. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Think about the qualities that you like to have in a purse.
I love having a structured purse. I can’t stand purses that are floppy. It took me so many years to discover this because I love how they look so I would buy them all the time but then I hated using them.
Now I won’t even look at a purse unless it can stand on its own. I love pockets too. I need to be able to easily find my keys. I need to have a pocket for my phone. My wallet needs to be easy to pull out.
Get yourself a nice purse that you love carrying around.
Same with your wallet. I am focusing more on my money lately because I want to be able to teach you how to have more money and in order to do that I need to be that example first. This means having cash and sticking to my budget.
I need a wallet that is easy to use. I don’t want to be pulling out something huge that’s full of paper or insurance cards. I like simple things. I like clean things.
That’s the other thing. You need to go through your purse and your wallet regularly so they stay clean. The more time and attention we give to our things, the longer they stay nicer. It’s because we keep appreciating them.
3 | hair + face
Your hair is another area I want you to pay attention to. I absolutely love it when I see ladies with their hair done. It is so easy for me to just throw my hair up in a bun and call it good and then I’m out and I see someone with a beautiful braid and I think it is so pretty.
Now, if it’s not in your style statement to wear braids, don’t wear them. When you start showing up you will start to notice that there are things out there that you can appreciate and love but you don’t necessarily have to have them on you.
But taking care of your hair is important. You want to keep it clean. If you have a dandruff problem, set a goal for youreslf and decide to solve that problem. Think about how you feel when you have dandruff vs how you feel when you know you are clean.
The only reason I say this is because it is something I struggled with. I’m not saying dandruff means you are not clean. I used to wash my hair everyday and I had dandruff. Not good when all you wear is black.
I have been working on getting my hair back to it’s natural state. Now I only wash my hair once a week and it feels so much better. I’m using Dr. Bronners shampoo.
So make sure you have clean hair and don’t be afraid to change up how you comb it.
Now, when it comes to your face you want to really take the time to take care of it. Buy yourself a nice cleanser and moisturizer. You aren’t going to want to spend the money on it, but think of it like an investment.
This is your face! Take good care of it and love it. Do not cover it up with makeup. I don’t wear makeup. I remember when I was in my teens and early 20’s I used to wear mascara. I thought it made me look better. But I also knew it wasn’t right. I knew it would be better for me to believe that I was beautiful without it.
I didn’t think I was good enough, but when I met my husband I decided I would never wear mascara again. I decided that because I didn’t want him to think I needed to wear it. So I thought as long as he never sees me wearing it, this is how beautiful he will ever see me.
Now I am so glad. It was such a silly thing to do, but I am so glad I did that. I can’t imagine feeling like I needed to wear makeup in order to feel like I was good enough. I love the way I look and I can’t take credit for it.
The same is available to you, too. Invest in a good cleanser. I use Young Living. My sisters use Shaklee. My sister-in-law does Mary Kay. You have to take care of your face. It’s a small way to say you matter and you are caring for you.
4 | scent
Just like you want to make sure you have clean hair, you want to make sure you have a clean body. When I was depressed it was a big deal to take a shower. I always thought, ‘What’s the point?’
I didn’t think I need to shower unless I was going somewhere. If you’re not showering make sure you are cleaning your body still. You want to smell good.
You want to smell good for you. You don’t need to save your perfume and only wear it for your husband when you are going on a date. You don’t need to save it for Sunday. Why would you deny yourself from something amazing?
Our brain wants to say that if we don’t use it everyday it will stay special. I’m going to say that’s BOGUS.
If wearing perfume makes you feel beautiful and feminine and happy, why would you deny yourself that?
What makes something special is you thinking it’s special.
Make yourself special. Smell good.
5 | exercise + drink water
We all know our health is important. But are we all working out? This was a really big issue when I was depressed. I started doing yoga everyday for my anxiety and it was amazing.
It’s so hard to start getting exercise when you’re not in the habit of exercising though. So you have to start small. You have to start where you are. Just 5 minutes a day can really affect how you show up for yourself.
And make sure your are getting plenty of water. Our bodies are made up mostly of water, so the more we can cleanse and refresh ourselves, the better we can feel. Make sure you are getting at least 8 glasses a day.
I read somewhere that you should drink half your body weight in ounces everyday. So, if you weighed 130 pounds, you would want to drink 65 ounces a day. For some reason when I am pregnant it is so easy to drink plenty of water. If you have thoughts like me, dive into that.
Figure out why it’s easy to do it for your baby but it’s hard to do it for yourself. We can’t take care of our babies if we don’t take care of ourselves. Remember how you have to take the time to go through your purse and wallet to keep them nice?
You have to do the same thing for yourself. You have to give yourself time. You have to slow down and drink your water. I know you have a million things to do. We all do. But you get to decide if you want to do them feeling like crap or if you want to do them feeling amazing.
6 | get out
This last thing I want to leave you with is to get out of the house. Maybe you are wondering what going out has to do with showing up.
When I schedule a day for me, when I take a personal day and I go out for myslef, it has been absolutely amazing.
I’m not talking about getting groceries or bringing the kids to the library.
I’m talking about getting out and treating yourself.
This doesn’t have to be an all day thing.
This doesn’t have to cost a lot of money.
You could just walk to a nearby park.
The point is that when you schedule time for yourself and you honor your commitment to yourself and you get out and you have fun, you fulfill a need inside of yourself.
You don’t even have to be alone. You can meet some friends. Do whatever sounds fun to you. But, when you meet this need, and you feel taken care of because you took care of yourself, it is so much easier to want to take care of your family. It is so much easier to show up.
it’s your turn
So, I want you to think about all of these things for yourself. How do you want to show up? How do you want to represent yourself?
And if you don’t want to dress up for yourself or do any of these things, why is that? If you think these are frivolous, ask yourself why.
Okay. That’s it. I can’t wait to hear how you are showing up. If you are in TBL School, post in the Facebook group what your favorite take away is from this.