How to Want with Abundance


Before I started coaching, I used to think that everyone had things that they wanted. Even now, I do think that is true, but what I find super interesting is that so many of you don’t know what you want.

One of the things I like to do with my clients is to have them make a list of 25 things they want. Sometimes they can’t even think of 10. Why do you think that is? When you make your list of wants, how many can you come up with?

I could probably easily come up with 50. I have always been what my mom calls a dreamer. She used to say to me, “Oh Marinda, you’re just a dreamer.”

That made me feel like I couldn’t have everything I wanted. That I shouldn’t be dreaming. Which is so ridiculous because I know my mother would never want me to feel that way.

I wonder if that’s why it’s so difficult for some people to think about what they want. They are so wrapped up in the moment, trying to figure out how to get through the week, that they haven’t taken the time to even think about what they want their life to be like.

Today I’m going to teach you how to make your list of wants and how to turn your list of wants into something you can have. Because we know that when we want with abundance, we are wanting from a place of already having what we want.

When we are on the vibration of having, we receive more things to have.

So make your list of wants, and I want you to notice how they feel. Most of the time when we make a list of wants, we are coming from a place of lack because we are wanting something we don’t yet have.

Wanting from a place of lack comes from scarcity because we believe we don’t have enough. But, just by changing your feeling, you can turn this around.

Okay, so look at your list and see if anything on there is something you want and you already have. If not, that’s totally fine. I remember the first time I did this. I was like what do you mean, what do I want that I already have?

I want you to add in things you want that you already have, in between all your wants, so they are like sandwiched in there.

So here’s what this looks like to me.

  • I want to coach a group of 10 women.

  • I have an amazing marriage.

  • I want to take my family on a vacation.

  • I love having electricity.

  • I want $10k in savings.

  • I have 6 wonderful children.

Do this for you. Make a list of your wants and then sandwich in your haves. Now we’re getting to the part about abundance.

Abundance is a mindset. It is a feeling. So the thought can remain the same, but the feeling is what will change.

So read one of your wants. Maybe you want to make more money, so your want might be, I want to double my income. Notice how it feels. If you’ve never done it before, chances are it feels scary. Maybe you don’t believe you can do it.

Now read one of your haves. Maybe you love being able to flip a switch and have electricity too. I love being able to turn on the lights and do the wash and make my coffee. How does that feel? Maybe more solid? Certain? 

For me, the feeling was harder to place because I wasn’t even thinking about it. Isn’t this fascinating?! So interesting. Because I remember times when money was so tight and wondering what would happen if I couldn’t pay the electric bill. Back then I felt tight. I felt scared and anxious and worried and I thought about the bills and the money all the time.

Now I don’t even think about turning on the lights not being an option because I believe it’s something I will always have access to.

So what if you believed you would double your income? What if it was possible? Let’s just go there for a minute. Don’t think about how you’re going to do it, just go the the place where you already did it.

It’s the end of next month and you tallied up your sales and you doubled what you made last month. What if this happens for the next 4 months? Every month you double your income. In December, you’re sitting at your desk, looking at the numbers. DOUBLED. What would you be feeling?

This is where it’s super tricky. I remember thinking that I would probably be feeling excited. Ecstatic. But think about this. Next month you might feel excited. But if you did it again in October and November, what would you be feeling by December?

I think you would be feeling certain. By that point you would be believing that you would double it. You would know what’s working and you would be doing it and you would know without a doubt that you were going to double your income.

You wouldn’t be thinking about how or doubting yourself. You would believe you could do it because you would be on the vibration of having it. Of having doubled your income.

So this is how I want you to read your list.

Ready your want. Notice how it feels.

Read your have. Notice how it feels.

Go back to your want and think about how you would feel if you believed you already had it and take clues from the other feelings you feel for your haves.

Sometimes you will feel excited. When I think about bringing my family on vacation, that very much feels like excitement to me. But I can’t tell you how to feel. That’s on you. But here’s what I want you to take away from this.

When you want something from a place of lack, you will never get it. The scarcity mindset is believing you can’t have it. It feels hopeful to me, and hopeful doesn’t feel good to me. It feels like it’s out of my control.

When you want something from a place of having, that is when you will receive it. Because if you really believe you can have what you want, you will feel inspired to take the action you need to take to make it your reality.

Please take the time to do this exercise. You will be so glad you did. Next week I will be back with tips on how to believe you can have what you want.

Okay, leave a comment below with some of your wants and how they feel! I would love to hear from you.