How to Grow Your Self-Confidence


Hey. We are continuing the self-confident theme for this month. Last week we talked about different reasons why you don’t have self-confidence. Today we are going to talk about how to grow more of it.

You know you have to trust yourself and that you have to earn your own trust. But how exactly do you do that?

Remember how everything is created. When you create something, you have a result. How do we get results? It starts with your thoughts. Your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings drive your actions, your actions create your results.

So when you look at your life and you look at the results you have, try to figure out what thoughts you had that created those results.

And if you want different results, the thing to do is to change your thoughts. 

So if you want to grow your self-confidence, you need to change your thoughts about yourself.

This isn’t always easy. Okay, it’s never easy.

But the way to start is to believe in the possibility of what you can create in your future. The person you are right now is not who you have to always be.

Chances are, the person you are now wants more.

You have to be certain of the possibility of who you want to be. The more certain you are, the more confidence you have to move towards it.

Last week we talked a little bit about how you have to be willing to feel all your emotions. Today I’m going to be more specific. You need to be willing to feel fear and disappointment.

When you open yourself up to those emotions, that is when you will grow. It’s going to be uncomfortable. It’s supposed to be uncomfortable. If it wasn’t uncomfortable, you wouldn’t need to grow. If you don’t need to grow you should already be able to do the thing. If you can’t do it, you need to plan on being uncomfortable. Be willing to feel the fear and the disappointment.

So take a look at the way your life is right now. Figure out what you are believing about your life, about you. And if you don’t like it, you can change it. Your belief about you is created daily. You can always change it.

You have to train your brain to start producing self-confidence by itself. This is a skill. The more you show up for yourself and you keep your word to yourself, the more you are growing your trust in yourself.

The more you keep going out of your comfort zone, the more negative emotion you will experience.

But here’s the thing. Fear and disappointment do not prevent self-confidence. It’s our unwillingness to feel the fear, our unwillingness to feel the disappointment, that keeps us from growing our self-confidence.

So we have to take action to increase our capability to be self-confident. Because as soon as you feel capable, you’re going to feel confident. But you can’t feel capable until you start taking action.

You have to take action when you’re scared. When you’re uncomfortable. You have to make decisions and keep going forward. You have to honor your decisions, stop second-guessing yourself. You stop looking to others for approval and start having your own opinions and you learn. Learn, learn, learn. Be willing to embrace yourself and change yourself. If you thought you would like something and then you find out you don’t, listen to yourself. 

Keep taking action. Just like that baby learning to walk. If she doesn’t keep trying, she’s never going to be able to walk. She’s not going to compare how well she can walk to how well another baby can walk. She isn’t going to be offended if someone tells her she can’t walk. You have to be like this.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop being offended. Let people judge you and be wrong about you. There’s a difference in living in fear of what others might think about you and the willingness to experience the negative emotion.

The way to grow your self confidence is to do the scary thing. 

If you feel like this is something you want to work on but you need some help, reach out and lets connect. I would love to help you.