7 Reasons Why Great Leadership at Home Works
I have this vision of who I want to be as a mother. I think we all do. Whether it’s something we learned from our own mother or grandmother, or maybe our friend’s mom, we have someone we look up to. The problem with my vision is that my kids don’t always comply. They don’t always act or respond to me in the way I want them to.
Sometimes when I ask them to do something they ask why. (Apparently they don’t see the point in cleaning their rooms.) Sometimes it’s hard to come up with a reason why they need to do a certain thing. We want to say, ‘Because I said so!’ and leave it at that. I decided I was going to quit saying 'because' for several reasons.
First, as soon as that comes out of my mouth I’m instantly in a sour mood. And, it causes defenses to go up in my child, and before we know it we're arguing. Furthermore, if I really can’t explain why, then maybe it doesn’t even matter. But I keep coming across situations where I wanted someone to do something just ‘because’.
I was tired of trying to find an explanation. So, maybe the problem is me. Maybe I’m the one doing something wrong. Clearly, what I was doing wasn’t working. I decided to take a new approach inspired by Simon Sinek. Instead of looking at my role of a mother as a parent, I decided to look at my role of a mother as a leader.
If I was a great leader, how would I fulfill my role as a mother? When I questioned myself I was immediately given answers that made me see how I wasn’t living up to my own standards of what I held a great mom to be.
But rather than feeling ashamed of myself, I decided to take advantage of this new opportunity to be a great leader at home. Looking at parenting from the view of a great leader helps me because I am very analytical + pragmatic. Regardless of your nature, great leadership works. Here are 7 reasons why great leadership works at home.
1. your kids will look up to you
They will look up to you not because you have authority, but because the love you have for them is evident. Because you show up again + again + again.
Show up even when you don't really want to. Because sometimes life is like that. Show up because you know that in the long run, it matters. Because they notice. Because they need you. Because the time you have with them in your house is really such a short time.
2. you will build trust
You will build trust not only one-on-one with a child, but you will also create trust within your whole family. You will have stronger bonds.
Trust stands the test of time. Create that trust when your children are young. Chances are, you're going to need them when you are old with age and maybe not able to care for yourself. Create that trust by being there for them, no matter what.
3. your kids will respect you
When you ask them to do something they will listen and they will go and do the thing because they want to. They don’t need to ask why. They do it because they are part of the family.
This is harmony. Really. Just like the parts of a song, find ways you can work together. Because together you are greater than you ever will be alone.
4. you will connect more
When you go visiting, you won’t mind if your little ones sit right next to you instead of going off to play. You will be willing to give them the attention they need.
This comes from love, and it's not always so easy to express. Be curious and look at life from their eyes. If you were in their shoes, what kind of a parent would you want to connect with?
5. your kids will support you
If anything happens, your kids have your back. It could be something small like running out of milk, and they willingly pick some up without asking for money. It could be a bigger trial that leaves you feeling weak. They will support + strengthen you. They will stand up for you.
Families stick together because of these special bonds. You're probably still going to fight; it's human nature. But when something happens, they will be there for you. No matter what.
6. your kids will share your values
When you make it super clear what you value + believe, they will know what you stand for. When you’re consistent and you honor your values + beliefs they will learn to honor the same things because you taught them and they look up to you.
This means walking the walk + talking the talk. Of course you will slip. Of course you will fall. But when you go to them and correct it, they will know. They will understand.
7. generosity begets generosity
To be generous is to do something for others and expect nothing in return. Great leaders are generous. Be a generous parent, and your children will be generous children. Be generous because it feels good. Simon Sinek says you can’t feel good by not giving. Fulfillment comes from doing something for someone else. Give, give, give. Your children will notice, and they will give back.
This means picking up after yourself. This means fixing everyone a snack when you make yours. This means going above + beyond what is asked.
Think of ways that you can give more. What if you packed lunches one day a week? Think about something that causes a lot of pain or bickering. Is there some way you can eliminate that? Once the energy feels good, they will start to notice, and give back. You'll know when it feels good because you will be able to feel it in your gut.
Great leadership at home works. It’s a simple thing that we often overlook because life tends to get so busy. Take some time to slow down and think about what great leadership looks like for you at home. I hope this inspires you to create better relationships with your children because they are what life is all about, really. Better relationships = more joy. Leadership is going the extra mile for them because you truly want to serve them. Because when you do and you see them thrive, everything is worth it and your heart is so light and full of love. I hope this helps you see parenting from a new perspective.
Comment below on a situation that left you feeling inspired to be a better parent.