5 Things You Can Do To Be a Better Friend
Relationships are a huge part of the human experience. We all have them, some better than others. The more we serve those around us, the better we feel. This is because it is a natural occurrence from generosity. When we do things for others and expect nothing in return, we feel joy. Keeping this in mind, I wanted to write about a few ways to be a more generous friend. This will help to naturally filter out the negative people in your life so you can surround yourself with true friends. Here are 5 things you can do to be a better friend.
1| give time
Time is so important when it comes to friendship. If you want to confide in someone, and she is never there, you’re going to find someone else to talk to. Think about the friends that you have in your life right now. Be the friend that is always there, no matter what. Because when you are there for your friends, they will be there for you you. If someone calls you in the middle of the night just when you finally got your baby to fall asleep, answer the phone. Make some tea. Give her time.
2| show up
Show up for her in a valuable way. Make the effort to be a part of her life. Clear your schedule for her and make a coffee date. When you go out for coffee, leave your phone in your purse with the sound off. Don't pull it out to check it because as soon as you do, your phone becomes more important than her. Show up for her so that she will want to show up for you, 100%.
When she is talking, listen. Like really listen. Put the phone away. Don’t repeat the exact words she said to show her you’re listening. Tune in to her feelings and ask better questions. Say things that open up the conversation like, ‘That sounds like a hard place to be in.’ or ‘That must have felt like your world stopped.’ or ‘How do you feel after that happened?’ Things like that say, I’m here. I get it. I love you. Tell me more, I’m listening. Really find out what’s going on in her life and share what is going on for you.
4| be honest
It’s important to always be honest. If you have something to say, let yourself say it, even if you’re scared. You want to feel good around your friends, but you don't need to say things just to make her feel good if you don't believe in what you're saying. If you really don’t think she should be hanging out with a certain guy, tell her why you’re worried about it. You might hurt her feelings about the guy, but she will know that you care about her. Always be honest. Friends who love your honesty will stick with you. It's so refreshing to have someone to talk to about anything and know that you're going to get an honest answer and not the one that will make you feel good.
5| be authentic
This is the most important one. Be authentic. Just be yourself. You should never fake it with a friend. If your nature is to be loud, don’t try to make yourself be quiet for the sake of others. Yes, there are places you need to be quiet like the library or church, but be yourself. Otherwise, how will she know who you are? Let her know you so she can know if your friendship is a good fit. It’s like peaches. You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but there are still some people who aren’t going to want you. Some people just don’t like peaches. When you're good friends with someone, you don't dress for them to try to make them like you more. They would think you were weird. Just be yourself, and let your friends be who they are. Find the people you are a good fit for by being authentic.
Putting it all together.
When you give time and you show up and you really listen and be honest, you will be a really good friend. And if you can do all that and remain your authentic self, you will be a really great friend. Do this because it is the right thing to do morally, and it will make you feel so good. Your friendships will strengthen and you will always know who you can count on. The more you show up, the more ways you will find to hang out.
If you like this post but wish you had more friends, read What To Do Before You Can Make Friends.